Sunday, December 11, 2011

Personal Insights of Oneself

Leadership is something that cannot be defined. It is something that cannot be describes in a mere word or sentence, but by our actions. How we go about things, how we say things. It is whether we are able to rise to the occasion when called upon, or even more so, when we are not. I find myself contemplating my decisions in life. Was I right to do this, was I wrong to do that. Despite some of my poor decisions in the past, I now find that my recent good decisions are quickly making up for those poor ones. The trouble is that I find my past sticking with me when it comes to my job (it is by no way a career). My boss says that I'm viewed as a leader but, I don't feel like one (at work anyway). I find myself feeling like an outsider to the seeming "chrony-ism" which is fine, I don't want to be part of an atmosphere that tolorates that sort of thing. I choose not to lead there. I go in, do my job (and well), then I leave. I let my actions speak for themselves and they seem content. It's school where I choose to lead. Four group projects, 4 A's. The best part wasn't the grade though, it was seeing a group member go from being possibly the worse public speaker ever, to speaking with confidence like he had been doing it all his life in just a years time. Now, whether I had anything to do with that or not, I don't know. I would like to think I helped in some way, but that's not really important. I was stunned twice that day (last Thursday), once for the actual presentation he gave, the other... I was happier that that he got a better grade then me. I can't say whether or not I could say the same thing even a year ago. Things feel good.